I have the sweetest, most considerate kids on the planet. In fact, they are so perceptive and considerate, that they noticed my impending sorrow at the thought of sending them back to school and decided to cure me of it. Those little sweethearts!
So they decided to sacrifice their own peace and well being to fight constantly, play practical jokes on me and concoct messes so vile that I would get over my sorrow and be able to look forward to the start of school on Monday. Have you ever heard of such a selfless act being performed by children? A mother has never been so blessed as I have been today!
I put on my robe this morning, to find that someone had played a practical joke on me. They were not tiny dog turds so I'm assuming (from the diaper laying next to it) that someone thought it would be funny to dump the contents of Reed's diaper into my robe pocket. No lie.
Later, I was in the restroom and went to grab a baby wipe. Another strike by the practical jokester. As I reached behind me to grab a wipe, something poked my hand. The jokester had placed the thumb tack, pointy side up, on the top of the baby wipe pile.
As I exited the bathroom with my newly acquired injury, the sounds of quarreling siblings hit my ears. It was coming from the older boys' room. I rushed in as the fighting words turned to punches. Much to my surprise, the boys had decided to let their pet lizards run around on the bedroom floor. I found this out the hard way. Reptiles are about my least favorite things on the planet. They rank right down there with child molesters and Oprah. Luckily, I stepped on the dragon's head so it couldn't bite me. I did however do the boogie dance for about five minutes as my skin crawled and butt clenched in disgust.
To make matters worse, the boys informed me that the lizards were out because they had to dry off from their bath....in my bathtub. I had given them permission to bathe the lizards in the bathroom sink. In their professional lizard groomer opinions, the sink was not sufficient to hold the lizards and their bath toys. So they moved the pool party to my tub. Lovely. I will never be able to bathe in my beloved spa tub again without wondering if there are still lizard germs in it.
Yep...they sure are considerate in their efforts to ready me for the once dreaded separation anxiety that may have occurred come next Monday. I'm so cured, as a matter of fact, that I will be (once again) the only mom who is peeling out of the parking lot yelling "See ya, suckers!" as my kids are left standing in a cloud of dust, next to their bewildered teachers. Now I need to figure out just how to reward them for performing such extreme acts altruism. Perhaps a trip to the day spa for a relaxing massage, facial and pedicure... for me.
1 guests at the inn:
Awww, what Sweethearts! They're too much! :)
LOL, my kids manage to this everynow and then and that's when we take a break and separate into different rooms or I send them of to my mother in laws for a couple of days! snicker.
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