Confession

It is always a huge compliment to be called things like "super-mom". And although my ego would love to silently sit back and feed upon the ambrosia of compliments I have been given in regards to my parenting, my conscience will not oblige. It is a lot of pressure to live up to the well intended things that other moms say about me. I really wish I could be a "super-mom", but it will never happen. I will never rid my inner being of selfishness, anger, vanity, or any of the other less than desirable traits that make up who I am. I have come to the realization that I will never receive the M.O.T.Y.A. (Mother Of The Year Award), and I'm okay with that. But just to set the record straight for those of you who think I'm somehow an above par mother, here is a partial list of why I'm truly not (you might want to sit down for this):

1. I have let my children eat chocolate cake for breakfast (only because I could not hide and eat it all myself)
2. I pay way too much for skincare products (wrinkles scare the crap out of me)
3. I say "crap" and other bad words in front of my kids sometimes (doesn't everyone??)
4. I have pretended not to smell a poopy diaper, and waited until Daniel smelled it too, so he would have to change it (I'm going to be in trouble when he reads this)
5. My kids have missed dental check ups and immunization appointments (My grandpa will not be happy to read this)
6. I sometimes dream of running away and becoming a famous dancer (not exotic)
7. I have called my kids bad names out of anger (and they sometimes reciprocate)
8. We miss way too much church, and occasionally, I do not feel bad about it ( I'm sure my grandma just fainted)
9. I drink wine every night before bed (not the recommended 1 glass either)
10. I own a pair of Seven jeans (and I'd own more if I could get over the guilt)
11. I love to buy shoes (even ones that I cannot justify buying)
12. I've had to augment certain body parts out of sheer vanity (no need to explain this one)
13. I let my kids run wild while I blog (Ella just walked in looking like a greased pig. I think she is covered in butter...I hope it's butter.)
14. I let Marlie stay home once, just because I really wanted to take a shower and get some cleaning done, while she watched the little ones (I KNOW my grandpa just fainted)
15. I go tanning sometimes because I hate being pasty white (yeah I know it causes skin cancer)
16. I do not make home cooked meals every night, even though I know I should (sorry Jackie)
17. My kids have been in the middle of the street before, without my knowledge ( just one of the million places they have been w/out my knowledge)
18. I have spanked the older boys with a belt (and I threaten the use of it a lot, because it is effective)
19. One time, after loading kids and groceries into the car, I realized that there was a jug of water under the cart. It had not been paid for, but I was too lazy to unload the kids and go back in (which I never did bring up at confession out of pure embarrassment)
20. I enjoy a cigarette on the way to bunco once a month (and I have to answer to Nicole for it)

So there it is folks...my confessions. I'm not the great mom you thought I was. Sorry if I dissappointed you, but I write to enlighten, not deceive. And really, how boring would it be to only read about how I triumph as a mother?

One side note: If CPS shows up at my door after this, could someone pick up my kids from school today?